i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
