i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
