It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
