They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize