i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize