my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
