I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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