He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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