dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
