Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
