Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
