the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize