omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
