I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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