problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize