Non-Jews are for practice
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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