I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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