Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
