there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
