How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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