I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
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