Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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