Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize
