It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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