Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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