All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
