That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
