Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
