i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
