Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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