i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
