You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
