textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
