Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
