OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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