Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
being pregnant is like rehab
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
