sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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