It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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