I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour