Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
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