just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
this will be a night to untag.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?