U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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