Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!

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  (843): Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes! http://tfl.nu/yo6w
  Replies (9) Good night (578) Bad night (2848)
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  (925): View more from California

  dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning

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  (925): dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning http://tfl.nu/k939
  Replies (20) Good night (5552) Bad night (1067)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.

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  (780): I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar. http://tfl.nu/tmrj
  Replies (15) Good night (3841) Bad night (1469)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.

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  (816): she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL. http://tfl.nu/ostw
  Replies (16) Good night (6805) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......

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  (781): So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one....... http://tfl.nu/w37i
  Replies (67) Good night (2672) Bad night (9121)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.

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  (727): He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god. http://tfl.nu/zb23
  Replies (22) Good night (1038) Bad night (2699)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out

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  (540): You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out http://tfl.nu/n0iw
  Replies (9) Good night (985) Bad night (3562)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.

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  (989): Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings. http://tfl.nu/rih3
  Replies (5) Good night (2646) Bad night (933)
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  (707): View more from California

  Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis

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  (707): Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis http://tfl.nu/prx7
  Replies (5) Good night (921) Bad night (2773)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us

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  (919): I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us http://tfl.nu/0tdj
  Replies (2) Good night (1236) Bad night (1344)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.

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  (412): I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again. http://tfl.nu/ottt
  Replies (5) Good night (446) Bad night (1077)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?

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  (315): Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er? http://tfl.nu/auy8
  Replies (6) Good night (710) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Which is way cooler

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  (571): I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse. (703): Which is way cooler http://tfl.nu/my7h
  Replies (7) Good night (506) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.

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  (818): You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on. http://tfl.nu/jsq7
  Replies (2) Good night (789) Bad night (257)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.

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  (716): I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast. http://tfl.nu/84uw
  Replies (0) Good night (434) Bad night (264)

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