I never want to see another naked old woman again.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
