Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
