Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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