is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
