I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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