I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
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I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
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he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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