I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize