she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
