the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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