Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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