I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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