Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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