fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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