sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize