He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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