I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
