So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
