One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
