He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
