I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
