I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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