he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
